- By Osiris. 

After talks between the Writers Guild of America and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers broke down on late Sunday, the writers launched an attack on AMPTP.

Locals in Encino, California report seeing a shower of missiles rain on the office building of the AMPTP, severely damaging the exterior. No one was reported to be hurt as the building occupants had already been evacuated after the alarm sounded ten minutes before the missiles striked.

The WGA had already been in negotiations with the AMPTP regarding a bigger share of revenue generated by the sale of TV shows and films over the Internet and also from the sale of DVDs. The studios refused to agree with their demands citing that it will hamper ‘attempts to experiment with new media’. The retaliation by the writers means that American television will be immediately hit, followed by the movie industry. Shows like ‘The Tonight Show’ would be forced to do reruns if last ditch negotiations still fail, a NBC source confirmed with Rotters.

The office building of AMPTP damaged after the writers’ missile strikes. 

“This will affect our viewership ratings. Jay Leno’s jokes are only funny once. If you watch them again you would rather go to sleep,” lamented the source.

The last time Hollywood writers went on strike was in 1988 when writers were engaged in a fierce urban battle in downtown L.A which lasted 22 weeks. Damage to public and private property from the gunfights and airstrikes amounted to $500 million.

The infamous “Bloody L.A” of 1988. 

Source: CNN

- By Osiris.

Libyan President Moammar Gadhafi was criticized by the 2nd-in-command of terrorist organization al Qaeda in an audio tape released on Saturday.

In the 28-minute audio recording, Ayman al-Zawahiri accused Gadhafi of being an enemy of Islam by allowing American television network Public Broadcasting Service to set-up a new Middle-Eastern / African station there. According to PBS, the station will produce a new Sesame Street series to educate children the same way the American programme did for its own local viewers. Other programme line-ups include Barney and Friends and Arthur, both also popular television programmes in the U.S .

Al-Zawahiri denounced the decision as ‘anti-Islam’ and blasted Gadhafi for assisting the ‘Washington crusaders’.

“American TV in any state of the brotherhood is against the law of Islam. It is disgusting to know that Sesame Street will be broadcast in Libya, who has in the past been a fervent supporter of the brotherhood. Doesn’t Gadhafi know that Sesame Street promotes homosexualism? Look at Bert and Ernie – oh my god. Allah must be very, very disappointed.”

“Ali Baba and the Virgin Suicide Bombers is a fantastic series, and I don’t understand why it has to be replaced with a Zionist, capitalist show. This is totally outrageous. I will definitely speak to Gadhafi on this matter, but in the mean time he will get his punishment.”

Ali Baba and the Virgin Suicide Bombers is a television series produced by as-Sahab, the media production house of al Qaeda. The group’s logo was visible in the audio recording which was available for download on iTunes.

Ayman al-Zawahiri in a typical al Qaeda video.

This is not the first time al-Zawahiri has criticized American television programmes. On 5th April 2006, the al Qaeda leader strongly criticized Family Guy for attempting to show an image of the Prophet Mohammad on one of its episodes and threatened a ‘retaliation’. The first episode censored the image but when a second Family Guy episode aired with the image of the prophet uncensored, al Qaeda hijacked American televsion networks and broadcast a skimpy short showing various American people excreting, including President Bush.

This picture was released to us through a PBS insider who asked to remain anonymous. It shows Bert and Ernie spending their time off-stage.

A Libyan commander of al Qaeda in Afghanistan was also heard in the recording. Abu Laith al-Libi accused the Libyan leader for his pro-American ways. “After long years, he (Gadhafi) discovered suddenly that America is not an enemy … and is turning Libya into another crusader base,” said al-Libi, who has also been featured in several recent MTV videos.

Libya had been labelled by the US as a financial supporter of terrorist activites but has recently been repairing ties with the U.S after it decided to shutdown its ‘Schoolbags for Bombers’ programme. Libya has also been assisting U.S in its search for Jason Bourne and other wanted fugitives.

Source: CNN

- By Osiris.

Following the reviews by Russian Premier Vladimir Putin and North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, Fidel Castro who has been absent from television screens in recent months appeared on state television to announce his review of the video game Call of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare, 6 days from its release in the U.S.

Like Kim Jong Il, Castro gave the game a very low rating of 2.5 stars out of 10. However he did admit that the game was very intense. In fact, the game was too intense for the Cuban leader who has been recently plagued by illnesses, thus the game was rated poorly.

A letter from Havana addressed to Infinity Ward was shown to us by the game developers and it was revealed that Castro had indeed loved the game very much. However for the sake of Cuba’s pride, he had to edit his review such that it did not appear as though he was favouring the Americans.

“For once, America did something right for Cuba. All kids in this island paradise will get a copy of the game free!” Castro said in his last sentence before signing off.

Video courtesy of GameTrailers.com.

- By Osiris.

The North Korean leader is the next world leader to give his comments about the upcoming first-person-shooter game Call of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare. As usual, his message was broadcast through the state-run news channel.

( Video may take a few seconds to appear )

Infinity Ward was disappointed that it only received 1 out of 5 stars because the game’s single-player campaign was not set in North Korea, and a spokesman for the developer has this to say.

“We here at IW are obviously unhappy with the review, but it will not hold us back. We will continue with the launch of COD 4 which will commence in 6 days time. In the meantime we would like to tell Mr Kim that the game was not set in DPRK because our team of level artists were denied access to the country where we were supposed to gather photographs of locations for the game. As IW is very much focused on creating realistic battlegrounds, the team has chosen not to create North Korean locations without any prior knowledge but instead work on other countries.”

Washington again was visibly disappointed that President Bush still had not received a copy, but was even more furious that the North Korean leader had already played the game.

“The DPRK is a country of the Axis of Evil, and a volatile material like Call of Duty 4 can be classified as a weapon of mass destruction in North Korea’s hands.” said Condoleeza Rice, US Secretary of State.

“Kim Jong Il’s comments in his review has also confirmed the presence of nuclear weapons in the country, which is a violation of the peace deal agreed during the 6-party talks.”

When asked whether the US will be taking any military action, Rice replied, “Right now we are using any diplomatic means possible to save the situation. But anything can happen.”

Video courtesy of GameTrailers.com.