So many things happened over the past few months, which probably resulted in a long period of inactivity on this site.

Osiris was assisting the CIA in locating Jason Bourne while co-founder Da Vinci found himself stranded on a surfboard which was drifting towards the Bermuda Triangle. In the absence of the two presidents, Stalin as chief editor was commanding the Oompa-Loompa employees to make a chocolate statue of himself holding Trotsky’s head. No articles were written during this time as the whole company was in shambles.

A taste-specialist Oompa-Loompa smells a Stalin statue wrapped in gold wrapper.

Now Rotters has undergone a major revamp, which saw the sacking of Stalin and the hiring of Tony Blair who will take the Soviet leader’s place. The site is still being renovated and future articles will be presented in a more organised format.

We dare not be ambitious about next year as the company prepares to defend itself against a British lawsuit. Those Britons are claiming that we are a sister company, even attempting to colonize our headquarters on one occasion. But Rotters has held strong and we will be seeing Reuters in court sometime in October. Preparations for this legal battle will make us busy people but we will try our very best to write regularly.

Thanks for your continuous support all this while and do check back for updates.

Update 1: Rotters has been given a new look, with a more appealing theme and new header!  

It has been more than four months since the Rotters site was updated. Firstly, our apologies for having caused unnecessary worrying over the safety of our writers. No, this time our office was not raided by the CIA’s “12 Monkeys” Dept. We were just taking a long break and had forgotten to return to work.

When I returned to the office and got my schedule from the secretary, I was astounded. The company had dispatched us to the Republic of Jacked China to continue our coverage which was long overdue, and turns out that the Socialists are required to undergo a thorough examination by the Intelligence Bureau as part of their anti-terrorism campaign. This may seem like another day’s work, but here comes the unbelievable part – we the journalists would have to be examined as well.

Totally ridiculous. So you probably won’t be hearing from us in another month or so, which I sincerely regret. Check back in July when the team should be fully operational again.

Osiris.

Dear Rotters,

On behalf of the Rotters International Newswiring Agency, we would like to wish everyone a very happy new year and best of luck in all your endeavours. We will strive to bring you the most entertaining and current news and be better than we know we already are. Salamat Hari Raya!!!!

Da Vinci

Co-Chief Editor

Rotters Int.

Rotters International has successfully moved to a new host, despite repeated warnings by the United Nations Security Council.

We regret to inform you that at the moment, WordPress is unable to import posts from the new Blogger, which was our previous host. Hence all our past articles will be on the old site instead, and we regret any inconvenience which you may have caused yourself. We also hope that this does not put us on Santa’s naughty list.

A new site for more convenient reading in the future is Rotters International’s early Christmas present to you. Seasons Greetings from all at Rotters Int, and we look forward to 2007 where more articles will definitely be posted on the portal.